What would I do on a deserted island? After 'Lost,

[Sydney]

If I became stranded on an island tomorrow, I wouldn't rush to build a raft. I mean, it's not like I'd actually miss the Paris-Britney-TomKat hoopla spreading the nation right now. And after Lost ends its season tonight, what's left to watch on TV?

Thanks to Lost, I've pretty much mapped out my desert-island life anyway. Along with nonstop sweat stains and dramatic glances, each episode has presented variations on that age-old question: "If you were trapped on an island, what items would you want with you?"

Hurley's island music, for example, turned out to be Willie Nelson's Are You Sure, Damien Rice's Delicate and Joe Purdy's Wash Away. If his Discman batteries hadn't died, who knows what else we would've heard: the Rolling Stones' Paint It Black? Bob Dylan's Visions of Johanna? They Might Be Giants' Ana Ng? Probably not, but those are some of the tunes I could be stuck with for months at a time.

What books would I read?
Sawyer found and devoured Richard Adams' Watership Down and Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time— titles some fans have translated into clues. (On a side note, Watership also surfaced in 2001's Donnie Darko, making me wonder if Lost's "monster" might be another towering, talking bunny.)

Given my choice of desert-island tomes, I'd pick something that can weather repeated readings, like Garrison Keillor's Good Poems anthology. It's too bad there's no copy loitering around the island; it could've come in in handy at Boone's funeral.

After watching Charlie overcome his heroin addiction (though Boone and Locke's powdery discovery all but guarantees a relapse), I made a mental note of the nasty habits I could kick during an island getaway. They include my paralyzing addictions to Wife Swap, sugary cereals and Rosie O'Donnell's blog.

What other desert-island questions has Lost made us ponder? Ask yourself these before the finale:

What skill would you want to learn?
You can get a lot done when there aren't any cell phones or TiVos littering the landscape. As Lost's season progressed, so did Sun's English, Jack's bedside manner and Locke's knife-hunting abilities. Me? I'd be happy just knowing how to swim and use the bathroom outdoors. After that, maybe someone could teach me to crochet.

What skill could you teach?
One great thing about Lost is everyone — well, everyone except for poor, dead Boone — demonstrated serious skills, from hunting to fishing to delivering babies. I could teach castaways how to construct origami cups, do a yoga "sun salutation," play Bill Clinton's favorite card game and say various curse words in French. Those have to count for something.

What dark secret would you conceal?
Secrets are prerequisites for all folks on the island, and I'm guessing even more will be hatched during tonight's episode ("hatched" being the key word here). While I can't say I'm a millionaire or a member of the Korean mafia, I did once belong to Debbie Gibson's fan club — a fact that, if it fell into the wrong hands, could cost me my life.

What would you build?
I admire Michael's boat and all, but if I constructed something out of boredom, it would be akin to Hurley's island golf course. Given the right materials, I'm confident I could make a Scrabble game from memory and several bamboo lightsabers.

What personal item would you like to have?
Unlike the entire Lost cast, I turn pink by just thinking about the sun. While Kate has her plastic airplane to kick around and Charlie has a guitar to strum, if I could take anything from home, I'd raid the medicine cabinet for some Bain de Soleil. How has Claire managed to stay so pasty all season? Perhaps we'll learn tonight.

What relative would you want nearby?
Walt has his father, and Shannon had her "brother." Aside from my husband, I'd like to escape to an island with my 83-year-old grandmother, who has never left the country, would entertain me with endless stories and could probably turn sand, leaves and ocean water into a delicious, salty casserole.

What ailment would you want to magically heal?
In my opinion, the best Lost moment so far was when we first saw Locke in a wheelchair. But Sawyer made me realize what would hinder me most if I were stranded: terrible eyesight.

What would you name your baby?
God forbid I'd have to give birth in a jungle. I'd find it tough to decide between an island-y moniker (Coral, Leaf, Moon) or something more symbolic (Hope, Grace, Honor). Whatever I chose, it definitely wouldn't be "Turnip Head." Here's hoping Claire's kid gets a better name tonight — and sticks around for at least one more season.

By Whitney Matheson
USAToday.com
May 24, 2005