Hello, my dear reviewers! Here is my next installment and to make up for the terribly long wait that I?ve put you through, I made it a bit longer than usual. At least, I think it?s longer....
As always, I don?t own anything but Joy and Joshua. Sayid is borrowed. And if you read, please review, with ideas for more, if you have any!
Part Five
They walked back to the caves, both in a completely different state of mind from when they first started. Joy glanced up at Sayid, she wanted to talk to him. She owed him that much, but she changed her mind and pulled back from him biting her lower lip. Sayid said nothing, but let her battle the demons that were in her mind. He had put her through enough tonight, and tomorrow he would help her all he could.
When they reached the caves, she went in, staring up at him as he seated himself beside her. Joy knew that Sayid was there to help her.
?I?m not going anywhere.?
She did nothing but look away, shifting slightly to get comfortable before trying to drift off to sleep.
***
Sayid stood a few feet away, doing his best to hide the smile that was creeping across his lips. Joy was staring up into some trees, obviously wanting fruit. She had strayed away from him most of the day, and Sayid found this to be her way of coping. She had opened herself a great deal the night before, and she was probably nervous now that he knew so much about her. He went up beside her and hesitated about whether or not to bother her when she turned and smiled slightly at him.
He looked up into the trees, ?Want something??
She shook her head, ?I was thinking.? Her eyes grew dark and she turned away from him. ?I can?t do this, Sayid.? She leaned against the tree, trembling.
?You have to give yourself time.? He wanted to reach toward her to comfort her, but he knew that wouldn?t be wise.
?It won?t work,? She looked to him and shook her head again, ?Sayid. You?ll always be Joshua.? Reaching out a trembling hand, she touched his own slightly before moving away from him.
Sayid stayed where he was, shocked to say the least. Running a hand through his curls, he wondered what he was to do now. How he could help her?
***
Joy left him standing there. Not knowing where she was headed in the jungle as she walked. Why had she told him? What was that going to do? Make him pity her. Make him be wary of her. She knew Sayid would not pity her. She stopped and caught her breath.
?Why will I always be Joshua??
Joy looked to see Sayid following her at a distance. She looked away, ?Sayid, please.?
?No, tell me.?
?Sayid. I don?t want to, I can?t,? Joy made to move again but Sayid stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder, ignoring her flinch.
?Please.?
?I can?t. Sayid, don?t make me do this.?
He looked into her eyes, ?I care for you, Joy. You haven?t pushed me away and nothing you do will ever make me stop caring for you.?
Joy stared into his eyes, and the hope that Sayid saw hope flicker in her eyes before fading. She pushed his hand away from her shoulder, ?Stay away from me, Sayid.?
He moved closer to her, his eyes boring into her own, ?Never.?
?Then I?ll make you.? And with that, she walked away. This time, Sayid didn?t follow.
***
It was the next day; Joy had stayed away from Sayid as much as possible. She would walk past him, barely glancing at him, and nothing more. He came up to her and she stared through him.
Sayid knelt down beside her, ?Why are you doing this??
Joy made no motion to show that she had heard him and continued to stare ahead.
?Joy, tell me.?
She stood and walked away from him, ignoring him as he followed her. As they walked, they passed others going from the caves to the beach; and when Joy saw Jack she motioned for him.
Jack came over, confused to see them having problems.
?What it is, Joy??
She pointed to Sayid, and walked away from them. Jack turned to Sayid but he just held up his hands and continued after Joy. Sighing, Joy looked back, glaring at him. She continued on her rant, going as far away from the others as possible.
Sayid stepped in front her, ?Joy. Why??
She refused to look at him, her hand going to the bandage, stripping off small segments of it, ignoring the pain. Sayid took her hands in his own, holding them down with much force, ?Look at me.? Joy kept her head down and he sighed with frustration, ?Look at me.? She continued to fight him and when she had freed one of her hands, she slapped him across the face.
?Is that what you want? You want me to get angry so that I?ll hurt you, is that it?? He kept hold of the other hand, his face close to hers, ?I?m not going to. So you can continue this game all you want because I?m never going to do that.?
Joy fought him, her other hand tearing at the tape, it was almost off now, still down not looking at him.
?When will you understand? I?m not him. I never will be.? He pulled her close, his free arm going around her, whispering in her hair, ?Please.?
Joy pulled back, looking into his eyes, whispering softly, ?I hate you. And all that you stand for.? Ripping off the rest of the tape in one swift motion. She tried to move away again but Sayid held her tightly, ?No. You?re not getting away that easily.? He ignored the fact that she had actually spoken, they could deal with that later. For now, he had to make her understand. ?Come here.? She fought against him as he moved over to the opening of the jungle. He leaned her against a tree, ?You can leave after we?re finished. Do not run away.? Letting his arm drop from around her waist, she watched as he took her left hand in his, motioning to the horizontal scars, ?Why did he do this??
?He didn't,? She said softly. "I did."
Not saying anything, he filed it away, thinking that he would ask later. He pressed his lips to her wrist softly,and then he pointed to the one going down her arm. ?What about that??
?Sayid-?
?Why??
?I came in late from work.?
Sayid worked his way through the bruises and scars. After a while, he didn?t have to ask why, she tell him the reasons. If you could call them that. Majority were from Joshua?s attempts at punishing her for idiotic things, such as breaking a plate or not letting him kiss her. Sayid held back from giving his opinion on Joshua, for now, and placed a hand on her stomach, watching her carefully.
?I thought I was pregnant.?
Sayid nodded, again filing that information to ask at a better time, ?Where are the ones that I?ve given you??
Joy stared at him, frowning slightly. ?There aren?t any.? She still spoke soft, her voice catching.
?No. There aren?t. So, how am I Joshua??
Joy swallowed, tears were falling down her face, ?I don?t understand why you-?
?Do you really have to understand it??
She knew she should leave, this couldn?t happen, he couldn?t. Why? Because she was ruined. But here he was, kissing her wounds and proclaiming that nothing would ever go wrong while he was near.
Joy tried to find some other excuse; and when she couldn?t, she sighed, looking up to him. Placing a hand to the side of his face, she blushed slightly, ?I?ve been dreaming that someone would rescue me for so long, I began to think it wouldn?t happen. But it has.?
Sayid stayed quiet, letting her give voice to her inner thoughts, he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, letting his fingers trace her jaw line before going to her throat. ?Does it hurt??
Joy stared at him, ?Here I am, saying that I trust you and that?s what you have to say to me?? She frowned, ?I thought you?d say something better than ?Does that hurt???
Sayid smiled, there she was, the woman that had caught his attention, that stubborn, strong, beautiful woman. He put his arms around her waist, pulling her close, his lips a few inches from her own, ?I?m glad you see things my way.?
Joy snorted, ?That?s it? That?s all-?
Sayid captured her lips in a gentle kiss, which soon became more powerful. Joy?s arms went around his neck, pulling her closer to him. He pulled back from her, watching as her eyes fluttered open and a blush cross her features. ?Was that what you had in mind??
Joy could hardly believe that something could make her as speechless as that kiss had. Biting her lip, she was shocked that nothing that Joshua had done to her had come back to her mind. There was nothing but Sayid there now. Not believing it, she leaned forward and kissed him again. When she had pulled away, she felt as if she could take on the world. It was perfect. Sayid gave her a quizzical look and Joy smiled, ?He?s gone.?
Sayid frowned slightly, was she telling the truth or was she just saying that to move on? Either way, something was wrong. All of her pain and abuse couldn't have been fixed that quick. Joy noticed this but didn?t mention it. She wanted to have no more discussions about Joshua, but she knew that Sayid would. Maybe that was for the better, her letting Sayid in. Or maybe not, Joy couldn?t make up her mind. Kicking herself, she forced herself to think straight, one thing at a time. He had kissed her; and, for once, Joshua wasn?t there to ruin it.
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